$12.50 [Wagatha's Organic Dog Biscuits]

My childhood dog, Patches, would go nuts over Milk Bones.  He liked them so much that it made me want to taste them just to see what all the fuss was about

Do you know what my current dogs Betelgeuse and Lulu will do if you offer them a Milk Bone?  They either (1) sniff at it and refuse to accept it at all or (2) take it in their mouths and then spit it out -- yes, they will open their mouths and let the Milk Bone fall right off their tongues.  And it's always some well-meaning small business owner or family friend offering the Milk Bone, so it's just embarrassing that my spoiled little Brooklyn dogs are so unapologetically, Thanks, but no thanks, we're too good for a Milk Bone.

New York did the same thing to my husband's and my taste buds, but we will graciously accept and eat the bland boxed mashed potatoes you offer us and then complain about them later when we're alone.  We don't refuse or spit them out.  In any event, we're supposed to have refined tastes because we're human.

So what is the (over)budget pet version of a Milk Bone, then?  Easy -- it's Wagatha's Coconut Grove Organic Dog Biscuits ($12.50 for 16 oz.).

These wheat-free bone-shaped biscuits are made with human-grade certified organic ingredients, including coconut and tart cherries.  My dogs love these things!  Wagatha's biscuits also come in Little Bites ($7.00 for 8 oz.) and in a host of other flavors, big and little, none of which Betel and Lu have tried.

I like to give each pup a biscuit or half a biscuit when I leave for work in the morning.  It's a little routine we've developed that seems to make my daily departure easier on all of us.  Betel and Lulu used to stand right by the door, holding onto a final hope that I was not in fact going to work but rather was about to grab the leashes so we could all go somewhere awesome together.  And then I would close the door in their little doggie faces.  Now, they settle down happily on the rug with a biscuit as I leave.  Sure, Milk Bones would be cheaper, but these two are worth every penny of that $12.50.

Bon appétit!

$5.95 [Cloud Star Soft & Chewy Buddy Biscuits]

The humans and animals were reunited yesterday following the humans' return from Costa Rica.  And this particular human immediately commenced with guilt-induced post-vacation spoiling of said animals.  (Yes, this is different from my normal non-guilt-induced everyday spoiling of said animals.)

For the cat:  I gave Lola a good brushing with the Furminator ($32), which she loves.  She just rolls around on the floor meowing while I remove enough fur to construct a second Lola.  I did not, however, give Lola any treats because she's got a weigh-in at the vet on Saturday, and she's looking a little plumper following her week with the cat sitter.

Lola trying to break in to the Costa Rican beer and coffee.

For the dogs:  I took Betelgeuse and Lulu on a long early morning walk today, and we stopped by Unleash Brooklyn and picked up some Cloud Star Soft & Chewy Buddy Biscuits in the most junk-foodie flavor of all, Bacon & Cheese Madness ($5.95 for 6 oz.).

Cloud Star treats are great.  They're all natural and my somewhat picky dogs love them, and, if that wasn't enough, the company donates at least 10% of its net profits to non-profit organizations that benefit animals, women, children, and the environment.  [Cloud Star also makes grooming products that we've never tried but that have received positive reviews online.]  The dogs got treats in exchange for doing all the tricks in their repertoires -- which it turns out equals a lot of treats.

And then we commenced excessive cuddling on the couch, while the other human in the clan, Kyler, got ready for work.  His vacation is over, but I have another few days before I return to land of the law firm, and I plan to make the most of it by spending all my time and money on the creatures.

$158 [Your House Stinks, Part V]

This post continues where we left off after Part I [Furnishings & The Floor], II [Bedding & Other Washables], III [The Air] & IV [The Litter Box].

The Definitive (Over)Budget Pet Guide to De-Stinking Your House and Home

Part V - The Beasts

Merry Christmas Eve Eve / Happy Third Day of Chanukah.  Your holiday guests are about to arrive, or perhaps they're already here. You've cleaned your home from top to bottom, but something still smells amiss.  Maybe the Thanksgiving leftovers you forgot to throw out are rotting in the fridge.  Maybe.  But more likely it's your pet.

Dogs (and sometimes cats, but less often) can be pretty stinky.  Their fur, their farts, their breath, etc.  And maybe they just need a bath and a good tooth-brushing, but please note:  If your pet has a persistent bad odor or develops a new stinky smell, it may be symptomatic of an underlying medical condition.  Talk to your vet about it.

But for the non-medical-condition-induced stink, there are some things you can do.

• Wash your Dog.  The hard part about advising on what dog shampoo to use is that all dogs are different -- Lulu the Pom-mix is going to require a different shampoo than Icky the whippet, who is going to require a different shampoo than Roxy the dermatitis-stricken Golden Retriever.  There are medicated shampoos for itchy skin or brightening shampoos for white fur.  So here is what I use for our pups, but you should experiment to see what works for your dog.
  
  Lulu and Betelgeuse essentially have hair instead of fur, and they are active dogs who like to get nice 'n dirty.  We use Earthbath Oatmeal & Aloe Shampoo ($11).  It gets them super clean -- removes dirt, dingles, odors, etc. -- and I love the way it smells.  This shampoo makes them so soft and fluffy, although it is a bit drying on its own.  It can be paired with Earthbath Creme Rinse & Conditioner ($9) for conditioning and detangling.  [You can browse the full line of Earthbath shampoos here.]  I also like Isle of Dogs Everyday Lush Coating Shampoo ($13) for extra Pomeranian poof.  Betelgeuse hates baths and struggles while we lather her up, so I am in the market for a conditioning shampoo or two-in-one shampoo and conditioner, like Aroma Paws Luxury Dog Shampoo and Conditioner in One ($15), but I need to use what I have before trying a new brand.

• In Between Baths.  So my usual if-it's-dirty-wash-it motto does not always apply to dogs.  Sometimes it's not a convenient time to give your dog a bath, even if she stinks.  Our dogs take a long time -- and several towels -- to dry.  So if our guests are an hour away, and Betelgeuse rolled in a dead something, I need a stop gap measure to address the odor without giving her a full bath.  That's what wipes and waterless shampoos are for.  I like Nature's Dog by Canus Fresh Goat's Milk Lotion-Based All Purpose Pet Wipes ($7) for wiping away dirt, mud, or dingle-berries.  And for cleansing and deodorizing, I like Kiehl's Spray-N-Play Cleansing Spritz ($13), which is a waterless shampoo that smells heavenly.  You spray the dog, foam 'em up, and then towel them off.

• Clean the Eyes and Ears.  Our two dogs fastidiously groom each other's eyes and ears, which means less work for us. Both pups have dark fur around their eyes, so we don't have issues with eye stains.  But their little triangle dog ears are the perfect breeding ground for mites, yeast, or bacterial infections, so we have to take some extra steps to keep them clean.  There are thousands of ear care products on the market, and I really don't know what is best.  I was using ear drops, and I recently purchased Earthbath Ear Wipes ($7) when I noticed that Betel's ears were a little bit waxy.  They seem to work fine.

• Get your Dog Professionally Groomed.  You can also pay someone to do all the above for you.  We do this for Betel and Lulu approximately twice a year [previous post on grooming here] ($60).  The groomers' price tag includes "nail clipping, ear cleaning, anal gland expression, a rejuvenating bath with all natural shampoos and conditioner, and hair cut to your specifications."  [I should do another post on just anal glands, but this blog is getting downright gross.]  I loooooove getting the dogs groomed -- I drop them off and pick them up a few hours later totally clean and de-matted, with clipped nails and cute haircuts.  It's awesome.  I just wish it wasn't so expensive.  That's New York for you, I guess.  We let their coats grow long in the winter, but we plan to take Lulu in soon for a "sanitary trim," which means they'll cut her butt hair short.  She's been having some "stool sticking," a.k.a. "dingle-berries," and we're all getting a little tired [Lulu included] of the butt baths.

• Address Your Dog's Breath.  We're currently working this one out.  Lulu's breath still stinks.  She has a great smile, but there is a demon stink inside of her.  The vet thinks it's just gingivitis on her back teeth and said she would clean them if Lulu ever needs to go under the knife for something else [which I hope is never].  I'll update this guide when I find something that works in the interim.

And now onto cats.  Meeeeeeeeeeow.

Cats are a lot easier.  They can produce a foul stink [see Part IV for litter box tips], but for the most part the cats themselves are very clean.  They spend approximately 10% of their waking hours grooming themselves.  Same advice above is relevant for your feline companions, though:  If there is a bad odor coming from their fur, ears, or mouth, or if the cat suddenly stops grooming herself, talk to your vet.  These are signs something could be wrong.  I have only a few tips to keep your cat smelling fresh and clean.

• Bathe your cat.  I don't bathe Lola in water.  If I had planned to bathe her as an adult, I should have started bathing her as a kitten.  I value my skin's integrity, and so I cannot bathe Lola.  To be fair, she does a very good job of grooming herself, and she has short hair, so there is no matting or hairball concerns.  The occasional waterless bath with Earthbath Grooming Foam for Cats ($6) seems to be enough to keep her smelling like, well, nothing.

• Brush your cat.  Lola takes care of most of her own grooming needs, but I supplement her efforts with The Furminator ($32).  Brushing your cat prevents excessive shedding and helps remove dander.  The Furminator is nice because it takes out the loose undercoat.  Lola rolls around and meows while I brush her -- I imagine it must feel like a back scratch. 

• Brush your cat's teeth.  This advice is hypocritical because I am unable to brush my cat's teeth.  If you've met Lola, you will understand.  I give her tartar control treats, but she has icky teeth.  At the tender young age of 7 years, had four teeth removed.  Apparently orange tabbies are notorious for bad teeth, but if I could go back in time, I would tell twenty-one year old me to brush my new kitten Lola's teeth so that she would get used to it.  But for now I'm just going to tell you instead.

So with that, I conclude the Definitive (Over)budget Pet Guide to De-stinking Your House and Home and wish you the merriest, least stinky holiday season yet.

$284.75 [Lulu's Holiday Wish List]

I am starting the holiday gift guide series with Lulu's Wish List since it is her first Christmas with the clan.

*        *        *

Dear Santa,

Please send the following items RUSH to Brooklyn.  We do not have a chimney, but we usually keep the back door unlocked (shhh), so just sneak in that way.

 

Clockwise from top left:  Alqo Wasi Alpaca Wool Llama Sweater, size SM ($54) | Merrick Water Buffalo Flossies, 6-8" ($4.49) | Basil PASJA, pet rear bike basket with steel frame cover ($100).

[A note from the author on the bike basket:  The steel frame cover is 100% necessary.  I already have a pet basket that attaches to my handlebars (the Solvit 62331 Tagalong Wicker Bicycle Basket), which Betelgeuse loves, but no matter how well I secure Lulu in the basket, she jumps or wiggles or ninja-style flips out while I'm riding and just hangs from the basket by her harness.  You have never experienced anything so terrible.  I will not even ride with them anymore.  So yes please, this basket.  And it's easier for me to ride with the weight on the back bike rack anyway.]

Clockwise from top left:  Thundershirt, Navy Blue Rugby, size XS ($40) | Nature's Miracle Quick Results Training Pads, 14-ct ($9.31) | Brinkmann Pet Home Decor Cuddler - 24" x 20", purple ($40) | Hammacher Schlemmer Dogbrella ($29.95).

[A note from the author:  Three of these gifts are related to the weather, or rather, Lulu's disdain for inclement weather -- the Thundershirt, which we discussed previously, to help Lulu overcome her top three shake-inducing fears: thunder, snow, and the subway.  Second, the training pads.  We have successfully housebroken Lulu and would never use wee-wee pads, but she HATES the rain.  Her only "accidents" now occur when it's raining outside, so training pads would definitely be on her wish list.  And finally, the Dogbrella for my prissy rain-hating pup, which is just so hilarious.]

Feel free to also throw in some dog or human treats -- whatever, really, although I'm quite fond of the Wagatha's Organic Dog Biscuits in Coconut Grove with Tart Cherry ($7).  And if you hook me up, I might even stop barking at you.  No promises, though.

Respectfully Yours,
Lulu

$10,000.00 [Expensive Tastes]

Dog Eats 10k Worth Of Diamonds

$10,000 for diamond dog treats, followed by poopy diamonds. Nice one, Honey Bun.

$17.99 [Freezy Pups Kit]

Freezy Pups Kit for Dogs.  I bought this glorified ice cube tray from a local pet store on May 6 to celebrate our Cinco de Mayo adoption of Lulu.  I know what you're thinking, but I was overcome with celebratory impulses and my love of things shaped like bones.

It makes frozen treats (or just ice) shaped like little bones.  The kit comes with four sample flavors: White Cheddar Cheese, Banana Honey, Sweet Potato 'n Maple, and Chicken Soup.  You can buy replacement mixes or just make your own.

During Brooklyn's recent heat wave, Betelgeuse and Lulu cooled off with Chicken Soup-flavored freezy pups, which went over pretty well.  The downside is that both dogs kept taking the freezy pups from their bowls and bringing them up on the couch, which, like most things the dogs do, is gross. 

$17.99 for a delicious, frozen treat for your doggie friends.  But unless you're swayed by the whole bone-shape thing, save your money and just use chicken stock and your regular ice-cube tray.

$452.00 [The Dentist]

Really, Betelgeuse?  Anesthesia and extraction of two broken teeth after only two short years on the planet. Apparently Betelgeuse has "weak teeth." That's an official diagnosis. Or she's been chewing on rocks. That's a speculation.

$382.00 for the teeth extraction (and accompanying anesthesia, antibiotics, catheter and IV fluids). And another $70.00 on top of that for a leptosporosis vaccine and bordetella injection booster because -- might as well -- she was due for them and already knocked out.

And can you believe I didn't even get to keep the teeth?

$14.99 [Chicken Feet]

Only slightly more awkward than feeding your pet a dehydrated bull penis, I present to you Aunt Jeni's Chicken Feet, 20 of them in fact, and dehydrated to perfection. Even Kitty enjoys crunching on the toes.

Also enjoyed in the past: frozen chicken feet. It really is so funny to me (and sort of terrifying to my boyfriend) to find one of those thawing in the bed or next to your magic mouse.

I love feeding my pets gnarly animal parts -- we have not even discussed tendons, tracheas, or hooves yet, but we'll get there. I was vegetarian for 16 years until approximately one year ago. Because I now eat the animals' meat, I appreciate that my pets will eat their bones, feet, snouts, ears, tendons, organs, etc. -- all parts that might otherwise go to waste. And really, if I was truly grossed out by animal parts, I shouldn't be eating animals.

$14.99 for hours of chewing fun for dogs and cats, creeping out your friends, and, most importantly, "using the whole buffalo."