$443.11 [Your House Stinks, Parts II and III]

This post continues where we left off after Part I.

The Definitive (Over)Budget Pet Guide to De-Stinking Your House and Home

Part II - Bedding & Other Washables

This part of the Guide is pretty simple.  If you can fit it in a washing machine, then don't just spray it with a cleaning solution or sprinkle it with baking soda, WASH IT.  Use your regular detergent or, for added odor-fighting power, an enzymatic laundry detergent, like BioKleen Free & Clear Laundry Detergent ($14.33).  There are even a few products formulated especially for pet laundry, like Petastic Deodorizing Pet Laundry Detergent ($8.29), which can be used as a pre-treat or as your sole detergent [I use it!], or Nature's Miracle Laundry Boost Stain & Odor Additive ($8.99), which can be used in addition to your regular detergent.  If you are an urbanite like us and cannot immediately launder the soiled item because you don't own a washing machine, spray the area with Nature's Miracle Stain & Odor Remover ($6) or pre-treat with one of the above detergents as a stop-gap measure until you can make the trek to the laundromat ($4.50).

In addition to soiled items, regularly wash anything washable that your pets use.  This includes pet bedding, pet clothes, plush toys, leashes and harnesses, pillows, pillowcases, cushion covers, blankets, throws, etc.  If your apartment is squeaky clean but your stinky dog has been lounging on your throws, your apartment will smell like a stinky dog.  Wash your throws.  [Wash your dog, too -- we'll cover that in Part V.]  We recently dropped off $85 worth of laundry at our cleaners for wash-and-fold service because it was time to wash every pet bed, pet toy, throw rug, throw pillow, blanket, and towel we own after the kittens left town.  It was epic.  My apartment smells awesome.

Part III - The Air

Deodorizing the air itself is key.  Once the offending stink has been removed from your furnishings, floors, and fabrics, it can still linger in the air.  We're talking about "wet dog", "I rolled in a dead worm," lingering poop smell, litter box stink, etc.  [Part IV is devoted to the litter box, but we will address ambient litter box stink here.]

• Pet Odor Exterminator Candle ($9 for 70 hours of burn time).  Another enzyme-based product, which attacks the odor particles instead of just masking them with smelly candle smell.  I have used the Lavender with Chamomile, Cherry Pomegranate, and Luscious Creamsicle scents.  I buy them at Unleash Brooklyn, but you can also buy them online -- there are seasonal scents and this company also makes a smoke-odor line of products, which appear to be the same as the pet odor candles with a different label.  These candles are AWESOME.  Super effective with a subtle fragrance.  I keep one in every room, and it is the only candle that can truly counteract kitten stink.  How can something so small and cute make such an awful smell?  I loooooove these candles.  Seriously, it's like this.  [I read the testimonials and can't stop laughing about this litany of animals: "2 dogs, a Bearded Dragon, 2 tortoises, and a corn snake."]

• Bad Air Sponge ($12).  I keep one in the bathroom (in between the human toilet and the cat box), one in the fermentation closet (yeup, we brew beer here), and one in my closet with my clothes.  And this product was invaluable when we had the kittens living in the office.  The Bad Air Sponge neutralizes odor molecules in the air (see also: poop particles!) and also neutralizes odors from porous materials (e.g., furniture, carpets, drapes, walls, upholstery).  It is non-toxic, natural, biodegradable, and safe to use around children and pets (i.e, my dog can eat it and not die, unlike the other blue stuff she ate and almost died).  It works for 30-150 days in rooms up to 400 sq. ft. -- that's entire apartments in Brooklyn!  I'm thinking about getting one for the car, too.
  Note:  I've also tried the Fresh 'N Clean Solid Pet Odor Deodorizer, which is a similar product, but the Bad Air Sponge is leaps and bounds more effective and longer lasting.  I may also try the Earth Care Odor Removing Bag ($19.99) when my Bad Air Sponge expires -- it is mineral-based, non-toxic, biodegradable and safe for pets and children.  It has great reviews, and I like that it hangs rather than taking up precious floor or table top space.

• Air Purifiers.  Air purifiers are a MUST if you live with animals, and I would go so far as to say they're a MUST if you live in an urban area (and probably on a farm, too).  We own the Austin Air Healthmate Jr. Plus Air Purifier ($380), but there are air purifiers at every price point, so do your homework before you buy.  I bought our Austin Air Healthmate Jr. Plus in May 2010 when we had two humans and three animals (including a not-completely housebroken puppy and a sick old long-haired cat) packed in a tiny railroad apartment.  The filter on the Austin Air Healthmate Jr. Plus model only needs to be replaced once every five years, and it cleans a "room area" of up to 700 sq. ft. -- yes, a "room area" larger than our last apartment.  It's not the most quiet model, but I prefer white noise to silence, so that's a pro for me.  This is a key part of our de-stinking strategic plan and also a key part of my boyfriend's de-allergizing strategic plan -- along with allergy shots and nasal sprays.  We also have a number of air-purifying houseplants, which cost significantly less than an electronic air purifier, and which are awesome to have around for tons of other reasons.

• Adequate Ventilation.  Open your windows, run your fans!  Keep the air moving and the odors at bay.

• Other.  We've used "room sprays," wall plug-ins, and other kinds of scented candles, but these aren't really necessary.  I like our apartment to smell like nothing (or food), so I stay away from a lot of the fragrant products, other than the above candles, which are effective and neutralize odors with just a subtle lingering fragrance.  And eww to Febreze or anything "clean linen" scented.  Just clean it for real, please.

$183.59 [Lola's Holiday Wish List]

It is our ninth Christmas together, I can't believe it.  Yes, it's time for Lola's Wish List!

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Dear Santa,

I like you.  We're both on the big side and look good in red.  Give me some or all of my wish list, and I'll probably like you even more.

Clockwise from top left:  Sojos Premium Organic Catnip ($3.99) | Armakat Classic Cat Tree, yes we already had this, and no, I was not consulted in the decision to donate it to a cat rescue organization ($132) | Set of Three Shrimp Catnip Cat Toys if the humans are going to keep being grossed out when I kill real mice ($5.39) | Weruva Best Feline Friend Cat Food in Tuna & Bonito Be Mine, 5.5 oz. can, 8-pack, seriously, no more diet food, Santa I know you're with me on this ($10.89).

Clockwise from top left:  Feliway Behavior Modifier Natural Spray, I mean do they want me to pee on the couch or don't they? ($17.82) | Modern Cat Holiday Lynks Felted Wool Cat Toys, set of 3 candy cane red and white ($8) | Pounce Crunchy Tartar Control Cat Treats in Tuna & Salmon Flavor ($3).

[Note from the author:  Lola does not pee in the apartment anymore, not at all, not even in the litter boxes, but she still really enjoys hanging out in places where I've sprayed Feliway.  On the Pounce Crunchy treats:  these are Lola's junk food.  She loves them.  She also really likes Whiskas Temptations treats for cats in Creamy Dairy or Savory Salmon flavor ($2.50).]

Oh, and Santa, please ship all above items in cardboard boxes, which are the best gift of all ($0).

Also, throw away the vacuum.

Sincerely yours,
Lola

P.S. I don't know if this was you or God, but thanks again for "taking care" of Kitty this past year because I really like being an only cat.

$271.99 [Betelgeuse's Holiday Wish List]

Next up:  Betelgeuse's Wish List.

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Dear Santa,

I'm not a complicated dog, but I like what I like, and you know what I like because I growled it in your ear while I sat on your lap.

Clockwise from top left: 10" Aerobie Superdisc, discussed here ($10) | American Kennel Club Hedgehog Dog Toy w. Squeaker, AKC toys discussed here ($5) | Chuckit! The Whistler, Small, 2" diameter, 2-pack, discussed here ($7) | Wagwear Boat Canvas Carrier, Large, because I like being in a bag ($130).

[A note from the author:  Nothing new here.  I was surprised to see that a replacement inflatable playball did not make the wish list.]

Clockwise from top left:  Block of stinky cheese ($10) | Doggles, assorted colors, size SM ($20) | Dirty sock because the only thing better than you taking your sock off and throwing it on the floor is when you take your other sock off and throw it on the floor ($2) | Satin Baby Blanket with cotton filling, 33" x 33" to cover me in the car and protect me from the sun, covered bridges, trucks, etc. ($55)

[A note from the author.  Two themes emerge from these gifts:  (1) protection from the sun and (2) things that stink.

On the first:  Betel hates that big yellow ball in the sky.  Maybe it's because she spent the first four months of her life in a cage with artificial lighting or maybe it's because she has a big fur coat and gets hot easily.  But whatever the reason, she hates the sun.  When we ride in the car, she gets anxious and sometimes even sick unless and until we cover her with something that blocks out all light (for example, our coats or a dark scarf but not a light-colored t-shirt or towel).  Then she lays down and goes to sleep for the rest of the ride.  She's like a parrot.

If nothing else is available, she'll even try to hide under Lulu. 

It would be nice to have something that is not one of our articles of clothing (or our other dog) to keep in the car for these purposes.  The satin side of a baby blanket would be nice and cool for her, but I think something like the Sleepypod Cloudpuff blanket ($30) would work fine too.  Doggles are hilarious, but I'm not sure she would put up with them.

On the second:  Betel is just gross.  She likes eating her own eye goo and cat poop and hanging out with socks and her favorite treat is the stinkiest cheese in the world.  It's just who she is.] 

And, Mr. Kringle, last but not least:

A bag of 140 replacement squeakers ($32.99), my favorite.  Thanks in advance.  I will leave you some dog food.  Oh, and NO CLOTHES PLS THX THAT SUX.  Also please shrink our cat.

<3,
Betel

$284.75 [Lulu's Holiday Wish List]

I am starting the holiday gift guide series with Lulu's Wish List since it is her first Christmas with the clan.

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Dear Santa,

Please send the following items RUSH to Brooklyn.  We do not have a chimney, but we usually keep the back door unlocked (shhh), so just sneak in that way.

 

Clockwise from top left:  Alqo Wasi Alpaca Wool Llama Sweater, size SM ($54) | Merrick Water Buffalo Flossies, 6-8" ($4.49) | Basil PASJA, pet rear bike basket with steel frame cover ($100).

[A note from the author on the bike basket:  The steel frame cover is 100% necessary.  I already have a pet basket that attaches to my handlebars (the Solvit 62331 Tagalong Wicker Bicycle Basket), which Betelgeuse loves, but no matter how well I secure Lulu in the basket, she jumps or wiggles or ninja-style flips out while I'm riding and just hangs from the basket by her harness.  You have never experienced anything so terrible.  I will not even ride with them anymore.  So yes please, this basket.  And it's easier for me to ride with the weight on the back bike rack anyway.]

Clockwise from top left:  Thundershirt, Navy Blue Rugby, size XS ($40) | Nature's Miracle Quick Results Training Pads, 14-ct ($9.31) | Brinkmann Pet Home Decor Cuddler - 24" x 20", purple ($40) | Hammacher Schlemmer Dogbrella ($29.95).

[A note from the author:  Three of these gifts are related to the weather, or rather, Lulu's disdain for inclement weather -- the Thundershirt, which we discussed previously, to help Lulu overcome her top three shake-inducing fears: thunder, snow, and the subway.  Second, the training pads.  We have successfully housebroken Lulu and would never use wee-wee pads, but she HATES the rain.  Her only "accidents" now occur when it's raining outside, so training pads would definitely be on her wish list.  And finally, the Dogbrella for my prissy rain-hating pup, which is just so hilarious.]

Feel free to also throw in some dog or human treats -- whatever, really, although I'm quite fond of the Wagatha's Organic Dog Biscuits in Coconut Grove with Tart Cherry ($7).  And if you hook me up, I might even stop barking at you.  No promises, though.

Respectfully Yours,
Lulu

$3.44 [Puppy Tweets]

Two questions:  What was your least awesome impulse pet purchase? and How crazy are you really?

One answer: Puppy Tweets, in pink. 

In my thirty seconds of reflection before ordering Puppy Tweets on Amazon.com, I decided this would be an excellent purchase.  Puppy Tweets is an electronic dog tag with a sound and motion sensor that sends messages to your computer, then tweets to you.  A device that combines two things I love: dogs and the Internet.  Also, I'm a lawyer and I'm in my office in Manhattan during most waking hours, so I figured this would keep me informed throughout the day about Betelgeuse's comings and goings back in Brooklyn.  And finally, the retail price is $29.99, and it was on sale for $3.44 on Amazon at the time, so I thought I was getting a great deal.

Puppy Tweets, with all its potential, was a major fail.  For one, it turns out that Betelgeuse didn't have anything interesting to say.  The device comes preloaded with 500 tweets.  Betel wore it for one day, tweeted about sixteen times -- which you can see here -- and then I decidedly unfollowed her and removed the Puppy Tweets device and put it in a drawer.  Sorry, Puppy Tweets, but my dog does not like Keanu Reeves, and I don't want to read about her munching on her hindquarters.  Also, the website and packaging report that the device detects movement or barking and tweets accordingly, but really, the tweets came at seemingly random intervals (she tweeted that her nose was stuck in a birdfeeder when we were watching her sleep).  And finally, the device is huge on a small dog, and Betel kept hitting Lulu (who was merely our foster dog at the time) in the face with it when they were wrestling, and Betel didn't even tweet about it.

So Puppy Tweets was a flop, but please don't think for one second that I learned my lesson.  I have had Uncle Milton's Pet's Eye View Digital Camera, which hangs from your dog or cat's collar and takes photos from its point of view, on my wishlist for months.  If it goes on sale, you're going to have the pleasure of seeing a photostream of Lola's automatic pet feeder as she spends most of the day staring at it, waiting for it to dispense, or Lulu's p.o.v. of her various efforts to "bury" bones and treats in the couch cushions.  I'm sure you can't wait.

Update:  I have been informed that some of you actually like Betelgeuse's Puppy Tweets twitter feed.  If you would like me to reconnect the device so that you can follow her absurd Twitter feed written by Mattel employees, leave a comment here or send an email.  Anything for the fans.

~$3.50 [Deflated Playball]

We found this purple 10" Hedstrom inflatable playball in an alley near the East River in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.  Betelgeuse took to it right away.

[Video]

We could never tell if she loved it or hated it.  It was hilarious.  For the last two months, she would bounce this ball off her paws or nose and chase it around the backyard, yapping furiously.  Until last Friday. 

Our latest and greatest doggie houseguest, Bella, arrived on Friday.  And she brought along her giant pitbull jaws and 50 lbs. of muscle.  Within fifteen minutes of her arrival, the reign of the purple ball was over.

We didn't buy the first one, so I shouldn't complain about having to buy the second one.  Except that I will anyway.  These balls are available for purchase for about three or four dollars in big-box and grocery stores throughout most of America.  But Brooklyn is not most of America, and these wire racks are just not going to fit in a bodega.

Unfortunately, on the Internet, the smallest quantity I can find is a 24-pack for $45.99.  Even though the idea of Betelgeuse in the backyard with 24 of these balls is amazing, the reality is a little nutty.  So we'll have to wait for our next trip out of New York to replace the ball.  And then we'll have to try remember to put it up when Bella's teeth come over.

$2.60 [Fat Cat]

She keeps saying it's just her "winter weight" and that she'll work it off by hunting house centipedes, but the proof is in the pudding, folks.  Lola is only getting bigger.

She now officially weighs more than twice what Betelgeuse and Lulu weigh when put together.  We're proud of you, Lola, but it's time for you to go on a diet.

Our local pet store recommended feeding her the high-protein, low-carb Abady Complete Beef-Based FAT CAT Formula according to the specifications on the can.  It's a good thing Lola can't read English, or she might take offense to the formula name.  Can you imagine a human diet food being called "FAT PEOPLE FOOD" with a subtitle that reads "helps bring about the best condition possible for ADULT FAT PEOPLE"?  I'm sure it would be flying off the shelves.

A 13.2 oz. can costs approximately $2.60 when purchased individually.  It's a little pricey, and Lola still constantly cries for her dry food.  If we don't keep an eye on her, she'll sneak dog food, too.  (The pups just lay down and watch her do it, occasionally letting out a tiny whine.)

If anyone has any recommendations outside of the Abady Fat Cat formula for a good weight management wet or dry cat food, please leave a comment.  I'm all ears.  And Lola is all blob.  Well, mostly blob.  She still has a tiny head.

$3.99 [SPOT Skinneeez for cats]

SPOT Skinneeez for cats, Exotic Series, Ostrich

Impulse buy from the drugstore for my overweight tabby, Lola, who loves to play. It is filled with catnip and reminds me of an almost-dead mouse, which is exactly how Lola likes her mice.

Also, the toy (pictured above on the right) is a miniature replica of one of Betelgeuse's favorite toys (pictured below): SPOT Mini Skinneeez stuffing-free dog toy, Exotic Series, 12.5" Ostrich. And I have a deep love for anything out-of-scale, whether miniature or disproportionately large.

The new cat toy is a big hit, with both Lola (who was batting it around under the kitchen table) and Betelgeuse (who I caught carrying it out to the backyard just now). $3.99 for loads of animal clan fun!

I highly recommend any and all of the Skinneeez dog toys, by the way. They squeak, which is a prerequisite for any plush dog toy I buy, but the best part (and the primary selling point) is that they are stuffing free. This is perfect for dogs who, like Betel, methodically destroy plush toys and eat the stuffing. (After she dismembered her triceratops and ingested its insides, she had an all-stuffing bowel movement on the sidewalk. It resembled a cloud more than a poop.) The Skinneeez toys really can't be destroyed. They're nice and floppy -- good for shaking or tug o' war -- and they come in a range of sizes to suit all dogs' jaws, from mini to large, and in lots of different "animals." My favorites are the fox, the hen, and the jungle cats!