$40.00 [Kurgo Wander Bed]

We have one of each type:  a "hot" dog (Betelgeuse) who wants to sprawl out on a cold hard floor and a "cold" dog (Lulu) who is constantly looking for somewhere soft to curl up and snooze.  Traveling with our hot dog is easy -- she'll sleep anywhere -- but we needed a good compact travel bed for the cold dog.

A few years ago, we purchased the Kurgo Wander Bed (Medium, $40.00), and it's gone everywhere with us since then.  Two features make it different (and better) than most of the other travel dog beds on the market:
- It rolls up like a sleeping bag, secures with velcro, and has a handle, and
- It has a waterproof bottom, and it's thick enough to stay warm even if the ground is cold.

Great for camping, for car rides, and for visiting family and friends where dogs are not allowed on furniture -- a rule my dogs cannot even begin to comprehend.  We're in Vermont now, and the Wander Bed is a nice place for both pups to get comfy in an otherwise bare-bones room where they can't get up on the beds.

Because even our "hot" dog needs a warm bed in Vermont during the Polar Vortex of 2014.  It is -14 degrees Fahrenheit outside!

A bonus for us:  even the medium size is big enough for everyone (two dogs and a human baby).  $40.00 for a solidly constructed dog bed for the perfect mammal pile!

$99.00 [Found My Animal Rope Leashes]

Leash upgrade!

Blew the remainder of my January pet budget on new leashes for Betelgeuse and Lulu.  Their old leashes were frayed and nasty because we like to "drop the leash" and let the dogs run free at parks and on back streets and the India Street pier at night.  So for 2012 (and thereafter), I invested in two seriously awesome durable leashes made right here in Brooklyn.

The Found My Animal leashes are made out of all-weather, UV-resistant marine-grade rope (the rope is handmade by professional New England rope-makers).  The ropes are hand-spliced to withstand thousands of pounds of pull -- in case I need to walk a GIANT Pomeranain -- and, for added durability, the ends are "whipped" (an old nautical term) -- i.e., NO MORE FRAYING!  The metal hardware is all marine-grade as well, and the leashes are hand- and machine-washable.

Found My Animal makes both a standard and adjustable version of its rope leash.  I like the adjustable leash, which has two solid brass o-rings and two solid bronze clips.  The adjustable leash is more expensive than the standard one but offers a lot of versatility.  You can change the length of it when using it as a hand-held leash, meaning one leash does the job of two:  make it short for walks on narrow NYC sidewalks or long for strolls through the woods.  You can also hook it around your waist, over your shoulder, or across your chest, so on cold nights, you can keep your hands in your pockets or around your hot cocoa.  Running into a coffee shop?  Quickly clip your pup to a fence, tree or post, and don't worry about the security of your knot or untying the knot with a coffee cup in your hand.  You can even clip your dogs to each other (a great joke).

The leashes come in a variety of thicknesses from S (1/4") to XL (1/2"), which you select from based on the weight of your pooch.  I like the look of the thick rope leashes, but that would be too much leash for Betel and Lu.

For Betel, the Adjustable, Hand-Spliced Rope Leash (solid brass + natural rope), 7 ft., size S (1/4" rope diameter), $56, purchased from Unleash Brooklyn during an all-day Saturday stroll around Greenpoint and Williamsburg -- it's been so unseasonably warm this winter, and we've been taking advantage of it.

For Lulu, the Adjustable, Hand-Spliced, 100% Recycled P.E.T. Rope Leash (solid blass + black rope), 7 ft., size S (1/4" rope diameter), $43, purchased from PS9 Pet Supplies on the same stroll.  The recycled P.E.T. rope is lighter than the natural rope for the smaller pup, although the brass hardware is still a bit heavy for such a petite creature.

These leashes seem a bit pricey, but they also seem like they will last.  We've gone through quite a few cheaper standard nylon leashes -- they end up frayed, knotted, and filthy.  My 2012 philosophy: pay more, but buy it just once.  These leashes are beautiful, high-quality, and locally made and purchased.  If that's not enough:  Found My Animal does so much for rescued animals.  And lest you forget who was rescued...

Oh man.  Lulu.

$39.00 [In almost every picture #9]

A book that is not in my library but that should be: In almost every picture #9 ($39).  I have a thing for all-black-everything dogs and cats and photographs of animals (other people's and my own), so a collection of found family photographs of a black dog who never quite finds his light is sort of my dream book.

In almost every picture #9
Collected & Edited by Erik Kessels.  Text by Christian Bunyan.
Color / back & white, 122 pages, soft cover.
A review and slideshow here.

The description:

In almost every picture #9 is the latest addition to the long running series of found photography.  This time around, we are presented with the peculiar story of one family's attempts to photograph its black dog.  "Attempts" being the operative word. 

Unfortunately, their camera's limitations mean that the canine appears, time after time, as only a vague black blob.  The all black dog shape is seen posed in all kinds of domestic situations, usually with his owners as part of a tableaux of homely contentment.  But while these contexts make it clear that the silhouetted pooch is an integral part of this family's life, it's equally clear that there's no situation capable of providing the requisite amount of light.

I should have put this on my wishlist before Christmas.

$30.00 [Doggie Daycare]

I dropped the pups off this morning at doggie daycare at Unleash Brooklyn.  Doggie daycare is such a New York thing -- if you don't live in New York and you're reading this, you are correct in thinking that New York dog owners are crazy.  Our dogs wear clothes and have birthday parties and parades; they ride the subway, get their photos taken with Santa, go out to bars with us, and attend doggie daycare.  Welcome to New York.

Betelgeuse used to attend doggie daycare twice a week as a puppy, but she has less energy now and she also lives with her favorite playmate in the world (who she can play with for free), Lulu.  Lulu lived at Unleash for awhile when she was first rescued and pregnant.  (Dog Habitat Rescue operates out of Unleash Brooklyn, so many of the rescues spend their first few days or weeks there before they are fostered or adopted.)  Lulu doesn't really enjoy daycare -- she seems to think of Unleash as a homeless shelter -- we're not dropping her off for daycare, we're leaving and never coming back.  She was particularly dramatic about being dropped off this morning.

In any event, whatever their feelings, I like for Betel and Lulu to attend doggie daycare at least once a month -- usually during a super busy week when we have less time to exercise them.  This week is one of those weeks.  Kyler left the apartment even earlier than me this morning -- today is the first day of his life as a celebrity brewer (more on that at another time).

Daycare is great!  The socialization with new dogs and people is good for our pups, and after a day at Unleash, they sleep for the next two days.  In addition, we sometimes board them overnight at Unleash, so I want them to feel comfortable with the environment and employees.  I like to support the owners of Unleash Brooklyn, Rob and Bea, who also own District Dog -- they do so much for the Greenpoint dog community (including the McGolrick Park dog run) and the rescued pups of Dog Habitat (e.g., Lulu!).  And finally, perhaps most importantly, Unleash keeps a blog with photos of the dogs at daycare.  You already know that I like to spy on my pets while at work, so I really enjoy the blog.  The photos are hilarious.

I've collected some of my favorite daycare photos to share with you.  Betelgeuse always looks completely insane, and Lulu is always lurking in the shadows and blending in with the floor.  In the photos below, the red arrow identifies Betel, and the blue arrow Lu.

You think this photo is about Betelgeuse but it's about Lulu not having any fun in the background. 

 Great photo bomb, Betel.

Again, Lulu, lurking. 

Betelgeuse is bigger than Lulu, so I sometimes forget that she's still smaller than almost every other dog.  And then I see a photo like this and can't believe that she's real.

Two peensies on a bench.

$16.62 [FroliCat BOLT]

My brother's feline companion Future Cat spent his holidays at my apartment in Brooklyn.  I love me some Future Cat.  He's just one of those cats.

As an aside, did you know that Kyler and I rescued Future Cat in 2003 from a grocery store parking lot in Norfolk, Virginia, right after Hurricane Isabel passed through?  He and Lola lived together as young cats in Virginia Beach (although during his stay in Brooklyn, Lola was terrible to him, but she's terrible to everyone except for me).

Oh, Future.  He was so tiny.

Not anymore.

You wouldn't know it by looking at his 22 lb. throw pillow-esc frame, but Future Cat is quite playful.  He loves catnip toys, scratch pads, feather toys, and, most of all, laser pointers.  

So I knew exactly what to get him for Christmas:  The FroliCat BOLT ($19.95).  The FroliCat Bolt is an interactive laser toy -- you can either use it manually or put it on a flat surface, in which case the BOLT generates a fifteen-minute perfect-for-cats bolting laser pointer sequence.  You should have seen the joy on Future Cat's face as he unwrapped this gift under the tree (although he would have been happier if he also unwrapped 4 AA batteries, which don't come with the BOLT).  You can currently buy the FroliCat BOLT on sale at Amazon for $16.62.

Note:  I thought Future Cat would be fine with the BOLT, but if you're in the market for an automated laser pointer toy (and who isn't?), you should also know about the FroliCat DART ($34.95).  The DART is marketed for cats and dogs.  It generates 360 degree laser patterns, has variable speed settings, and features an adjustable timer (so, unlike the BOLT, it's not limited to fifteen minutes).  The DART, however, has no manual setting.  The FroliCat DART is currently on sale at Amazon for $27.99.  [I love how stressed out the kitten looks in the promotional image.]

My own pets don't have any interest in laser pointers, but if your pets do, these FroliCat products keep 'em occupied while you take a break.  $16.62 to keep this little devil happy and busy -- well worth it!

$40.00 [Animal Cam]

I received the most perfect gift this Christmas.  A webcam.  But not just any webcam.  A webcam set up in my living room so that I can dial in from my iPhone or iPad and spy on the animals from work.  That's right -- an ANIMAL CAM!

Now, while drafting contracts, researching tax law, and doing all the other things I do at work that you don't care about, I can tune in to a continuous feed from the animal cam.  Here are some screenshots from the last few days at work, as taken by my iPhone.

 

[That little black blob on the chair behind Betelgeuse is Lulu.]

[Highlight of my work day was when Lola sauntered on camera and just sat for 5 minutes while Betelgeuse watched her.]

[When Betelgeuse gets too hot, she moves to the floor.]

The most hilarious part is that it's not a one-way stream.  I can talk to the animals through the webcam, and they can hear me.  I feel sort of bad doing it, though, because they are clearly confused when it's happening.  Their ears perk up and they look around.  Betel goes and waits by the front door.

It's always going to suck to have to work 12-16 hour days at the law firm, but now it's going to suck a little bit less thanks to my bf(f) and my brother.  This is officially the best $40.00 anyone ever spent on me. 

Happy holidays, everyone!

$337 [Your House Stinks, Part IV]

This post continues where we left off after Part I [Furnishings & The Floor], II [Bedding & Other Washables] & III [The Air].  If you do not live with a cat, I'm a little sad for you because cats make great housemates, but you can skip this part and go play on Facebook instead.

The Definitive (Over)Budget Pet Guide to De-Stinking Your House and Home

Part IV - The Litter Box

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the grand source of stink: The Litter Box.  The litter box gets the high stink award for two reasons.  First, and most obvious, it's an open air cat toilet in your home.  Even if you are the most diligent of scoopers, there are going to be times when the cat blows up the box and thus blows up your spot.  Second, if you don't get the litter box "right" from your feline companion's perspective, she may start down the slippery slope of “inappropriate elimination" -- that is, urinating and defecating outside of the litter box.  At that point, your home will reach the true pinnacle of stink [unless you fight back with some of the tips from Parts I and II of the Guide, but best to just avoid it and make the litter box acceptable to your cat].

A personal caveat:  Lola doesn't actually use the litter box anymore.  She does her business outside with the dogs, so we spend little to no money or effort on the litter box anymore.  But I am an expert [self-professed, but, whatever, that counts] in litter boxes, and your holiday guests are on the way to your stinky house, so let's get into it anyway.

• Just Scoop It.  The best way to control litter box stink and encourage your cat to use the litter box (rather than your couch, floor, etc.) is to SCOOP COMPLETELY, AND SCOOP FREQUENTLY.  I say "completely" because some people immediately scoop the offensive nose-assaulting poop and leave the pee clumps behind for tomorrow.  Bad idea.  The individual pee clumps can become one giant pee brick, which is difficult to scoop, and -- duh -- it smells like cat pee.  Also, your cat wants the box to be clean, or she'll just find somewhere else to go.  I recommend scooping the box at least twice a day or more frequently.  Your nose and cat will thank you.

• The Covered Litter Box.  If your cat is amenable to this sort of thing, you can use a covered litter box, which does a lot to reduce odors in the home.  I used the Booda Clean Step Litter Box ($32) with accompanying liners ($4.50 for 8 liners) for Lola and Kitty when we lived in Baltimore.  The igloo shape of the Booda Clean Step is adorable, and it has stairs, which catch litter from your cats' paws as they exit the box.  I had to ditch it when I moved to Brooklyn because (1) sometimes Kitty's pee leaked through the seam in the box because she peed standing up, and (2) there was nowhere to put it in my narrow railroad apartment because the Booda Clean Step is a big round monster. 
  Note:  Bigger is better when it comes to litter boxes -- cats are clean animals and don't want to step in (or even see or smell) their own wastes.  This is particularly true if you've got a big breed or a fat cat.  If you are in the market for a covered box, I would go with the Kattails Kat Kave Litter Box ($79) because it's HUGE, there are no seams, and it will last.

• The Top Entry Litter Box.  When I moved to Brooklyn, I replaced the abandoned Booda Clean Step with the Clevercat Top-Entry Litter Box ($35).  My goals were three-fold:  (1) to reduce the amount of litter scattered and tracked by the cats, (2) to reduce pee escaping through litter box seams, and (3) to keep cat turds out of reach of my small poop-eating puppy.  Also the Clevercat had a lower profile than the Booda Clean Step and would actually fit in my apartment.  Unfortunately, Lola did not like peeing in this cave, and Kitty had a hard time entering and exiting through the little hole in the top, particularly after her leg was amputated.  We did okay with the top off, though, which just made it an uncovered over-sized litter box (see below). 
  Note:  If your cat will accept a top-entry box, and you're a baller, get the ModKat Litter Box ($180).

• The Uncovered Litter Box.  Turns out, the litter box has to be UNcovered for Lola to use it reliably.  Yes, it's kind of gross for your guests to see the litter, but the cat prefers it.  Lola, like many cats, feels trapped in the cave-like setting of the covered or top-entry box, and the lack of ventilation makes it really stinky in there.  But on the bright side, having it uncovered makes it easier to clean, and you are more likely to actually clean it when you actually see (and smell) something in the box.  We currently use an un-hooded Petmate X-Large Deluxe Hooded Litter Box ($30).  If Lola actually used the box instead of going outside, I would probably get a bigger one.  And by bigger, I mean, a plastic storage bin, which is all an uncovered litter box is anyway, or maybe the Petmate Giant Litter Pan ($24).
  Note:  This is our primary set-up pictured.  An uncovered litter box with unscented clay clumping litter [discussed below].  To the right, a Bad Air Sponge [discussed in Part III] and a tissue box full of plastic bags for convenient scooping and waste disposal.  Hanging from hooks are the scooper and mini dustpan-broom.  This is located under our bathroom counter.  We also have a top-entry litter box in the living room that Lola also doesn't use [not pictured].  We keep both litter boxes around even though Lola goes outside because we can't afford to take any chances.
  Another note:  Avoid self-cleaning litter boxes or litter boxes with mechanical parts because they are probably just going to break.  Everything is made like crap these days.  And even if they don't break, there are just more things, parts, and pieces to clean and disinfect.  Also, they can be noisy and scare your cat away from its toilet.  If you still want one, do your homework before you buy -- they're expensive, especially when you factor in replacement everythings (e.g., special litter, filters, parts, etc.).

• Clay-based, unscented, clumpable litter.  I have tried a lot of different litters in my day, but Lola says no, I'm a Tidy Cat.  So we use Purina Tidy Cats Scoop for Multiple Cats clumpable litter in Instant Action or 24/7 Performance or certain of the Premium Scoop Varieties, 27 lbs. recyclable plastic pail ($21).  It's sort of a shame because all of the technological and ecological advancements in modern litter are lost on us.  But there is no compromising on our litter, or my couch and rugs will be compromised.  How much litter?  The right depth in our boxes is approximately 3-4".  This enables you to scoop out the clumps easily without them sticking to the bottom of the box.  Unscented litter is preferable to those yucky, perfume-y scented litters -- I don't even want to know what chemicals they soak the litter in to make it smell like that.
  Notes:  The downsides of clay-based litters are that they're dusty, bad for the environment, and the litter ends up getting tracked all over your home.  [If you live with a cat, remember to wipe your feet before you get in bed and hope your cat does the same.]  You can try a litter mat, but I've never had much luck with them.  They don't catch all the litter, and then they're just one more thing to buy and clean.  If "inappropriate elimination" is an issue, we had luck with Cat Attract Litter Additive ($16) as part of our Operation: Save the Couch.

• The Scooper.  Get a heavy duty litter scooper made of plastic or metal.  I previously owned the Clean Go Pet Stainless Steel Slotted Litter Scoop ($9.50) because I'm sometimes convinced that plastic = microbial paradise, but I think it was trashed in our last move.  [I sort of hope it was trashed and is not just packed up in a box somewhere. Gross.]  I replaced it with the Petmate Ultimate Litter Scoop ($9).  I like the long handle and that it has a hole so I can hang it from a hook.  Don't put your scooper on the floor -- hang it from a nail or hook instead or get one that comes with a holder, like the Petmate Scoop 'N Hide ($10) or this cute cat-shaped New Age Scoopy the Cat Litter Scoop Holder, which looks like a sculpture ($13).
  Scooping Notes:  Try not to break up clumps -- the small pieces left behind are difficult to remove completely, and you'll have to change your litter more often.  Also, no scraping -- if you use your scooper to scrape pee clumps or poop, your scooper will be GROSS.  To prevent pee clumps from sticking to the bottom of the box, keep your litter sufficiently deep.  To loosen anything stuck to the sides, tip the box back and forth and either tap the box on the ground or gently hit it with your fist from the outside.  Then you can scoop sans scraping!  [I genuinely don't care if you think I'm crazy.]  If there's some sort of nastiness that is clinging to the box, just use a paper towel and your regular surface cleaner to wipe it off.  Scraping will just transfer the nastiness to your scooper.
  An Unnecessary Aside:  I just learned that there is a retractable scooper on the market that allows you to stand and scoop.  The package boasts "Never Bend."  I don't see how you can effectively clean the litter box while standing up -- will you even have the control you need over the business end of the scooper?  I just imagine flipping pee bricks around like pancakes if you pull up with too much force.

• No additives, no preservatives.  I don't use deodorizing powders or sprays on the litter.  They're expensive and only mask odors (and do a poor job of it anyway).  If you scoop your litter box(es) completely and frequently, the litter stays cleaner and you can replace it less often.  Seriously, there are a million products on the market that promise to deodorize, neutralize, freshen, or actually "destroy" odors, but don't just spray your litter, scoop it.  And if the litter is past its prime, change it.

• Scoop the poop ASAP.  If one of your cats HELLO blows up the box (which he is going to do right when your guests arrive), scoop it immediately.  I keep bags right by the litter box so there is never an excuse not to scoop the poop.  Also, dogs ♥ cat poop, so if we didn't scoop it right away, then the dogs would eat it before we ever could.  Eating cat poop isn't per se bad for Lassie, but the clumping clay litter is extremely dangerous to your pooch's insides.  We end where we began:  Just Scoop It.

We addressed ambient litter box odors back in Part III, so now you have all the tools you need to combat cat stink before your holiday guests arrive.

There is one more part to come in the next day or so -- Part V: The Beasts. And then I can go back to writing about cute stuff like dog leashes.

$188.05 [Your House Stinks, Part I]

Got company coming for the holidays?  Got animals?  Well, I hate to break it to you, but you should know this before your guests arrive:  Your house stinks.  You need to address it.  But I'm here to help. 

I know this stuff.  I grew up in a house that could have doubled for a pet store.  We had cats, dogs, ferrets, lizards, rabbits, fish, birds.  And we had some particularly stinky examples of the species:  a dog with skin allergies, multiple male cats "spraying" their territory (ever had to hop a "pee spot" to get out of your bedroom?), an old ferret (enough said).  Our house definitely smelled like animals.  As an adult, I am determined not to let my home fall victim to the animal stink.  I am at war with pet-related odors, and with my arsenal of specialty pet products, despite living in a small Brooklyn apartment, I have been largely successful in this war.*  And now I'm going to help you.  Yes, my first helpful blog post:

The Definitive (Over)Budget Pet Guide to De-Stinking Your House and Home

Part I - Furnishings & The Floor

• Anti-Icky-Poo ($29.95 for a gallon).  This odor-eliminating product is a miracle worker.  This is for your worst case scenario:  a dog or, worse, a cat releases its bladder onto your couch, mattress, or carpet.  You know, the one squat (and then it's never just the one) that stinks up something on which you spent a substantial amount of money and where you and your family, friends, lovers sit, lay, and sleep.  Anti-Icky-Poo is for that.  It's an enzymatic cleaner.  It has an active bacteria ingredient that eats the decaying organic matter rather than just masking the smell.  So what's left behind is odorless -- no pee odor and no terrible chemical smell.  Anti-Icky-Poo saved my couch from the wrath of Lola.  You can use this product for any organic or bio odor (including poop, pee, skunk, corpse and odors with a human origin).
  Instructions:  Clean up the mess, spray Anti-Icky-Poo onto the compromised surface, then wait for the product to dry.
  Notes:  First, this is for odors, not stains, so you may need to follow up with a stain remover once this product is dry (see below).  But you have to use this product first  -- if you use it after another cleaner, especially a synthetic cleaner, it is less effective and can cause discoloration.  Don't go to town with tons of cleaners -- just spray or pour Anti-Icky-Poo on the area and trust that it will work.  Second, it takes three times as long as you think it will for this stuff to dry.  Wait it out.  Third, Anti-Icky-Poo even works on old odors.  Seriously, this stuff is the BEST.

• Nature's Miracle Just for Cats Orange-Oxy Stain & Odor Remover ($10.85 for 24 fl. oz. spray bottle).  This is currently my preferred product for pet stains and for doggie accidents on our large area rug.  Lulu is the only one of our animals who has "accidents" anymore, and I put it in quotes because it only seems to happen when its raining outside [ahem, Lulu], but we also sometimes have accident-prone puppy visitors.  C'est la vie -- I wouldn't have it any other way.  I also use this product on the rug to remove muddy paw prints and to generally brighten it up from animal and human shoe traffic.  [Why do we -- Brooklyn beer brewer and animal hoarder -- have a light colored rug?  Anybody?]
  Instructions:  (1) Wipe up as much of stain/odor-causing material as possible, (2) Spray entire area, (3) For tough stains, use a stiff brush, (4) Allow everything to air dry completely, and (5) Keep pets away from treated area until dry.
  Notes:  First, for cat pee or large areas, don't listen to those Nature's Miracle fanatics, start with Anti-Icky-Poo (above).  Second, this product is good for small spots on carpets or large rugs, but if you're dealing with soiled bedding or something otherwise small enough to put in a washing machine, just wash it instead with an enzymatic pet laundry detergent, which will be addressed in Part II of the Guide.  Third, this product has a slight chemically orange odor that lingers until the spot is totally dry (which can take a few days), so I like to keep the windows open and the ceiling fan going in the meantime for circulation. 

• Dog Whisperer Natural Stain & Odor Remover for Hard Surfaces ($13).  My past five apartments in Chicago, Baltimore, and Brooklyn have all had hardwood floors.  You can use an all-purpose cleaner for vinyl or linoleum floors [I personally like Parsley Plus All Surface Cleaner ($5.29 for 22 fl. oz.)], but you need a special cleaner for hardwood floors.  Cue the Dog Whisperer.  Confession: I have not used this new formulation, but I was obsessed with the old one.  Hopefully it is the same stuff in new packaging.  Currently, for any pet messes (poop, pee, puke, etc.), human spills, or mud on the floor, I've been using Nature's Miracle Dual Action Hard Floor Stain & Odor Remover ($11.78 for 24 fl. oz.), which works just fine.  But I was give-it-to-other-people-as-a-holiday-gift obsessed with the Dog Whisperer cleaner, so I will probably buy the new formulation when I use up my current spray bottle of Nature's Miracle.
  Instructions:  Spray and wipe up.
  Notes:  These products are for finished floors only.  For unfinished floors, soak 'em with Anti-Icky-Poo (above).  I'm officially a broken record.  

• Dyson DC28 Animal Vacuum ($649.99).  Vacuum everything often.  This is key in controlling odors and reducing allergens in your home.  I'm talking your carpets, your rugs, your hardwood floors, your couch cushions, etc.  I don't actually own this vacuum (I own a cheap old Hoover Nano-Lite), but if I had a large home or carpets + an infinite amount of money, I would sure as hell own this vacuum.  The Dyson DC28 Animal is the vacuum of my dreams.
  Instructions:  Plug it in, turn it on, watch your pets scatter like it's the end of the world.  Empty the canister often (and preferably outside).
  Notes:  Before vacuuming carpets or large rugs, I like to sprinkle a baking soda product like actual baking soda ($4.26) or Arm & Hammer Plus OxiClean Dirt Fighters Carpet Odor Eliminator - Pet Fresh ($4.85).  Don't use these products on hardwood floors, though -- the baking soda just gets stuck in the cracks.  Oh, and you should mop hard surfaces, too, of course, but that's not animal-specific so I won't get into it here.

• Shark Cordless Pet Perfect II Hand Vac ($68.12).  I do own this hand-held vacuum (a.k.a. dust buster), on the same theory as the vacuum.  This one was awesome for a hot second and then lost its suction power.  I am in the process of troubleshooting, but I feel like this always happens with dust busters.

• Flor Modular Carpet Tiles (prices vary).  My next large rug purchase will actually be a bunch of small dark-but-not-too-dark-colored Flor carpet tiles put together, and I will keep a set of back-up tiles in the closet.  Flor modular carpet tiles can be removed and then cleaned, refreshed, and replaced, perfect for a home with pets.  I will use this guide to select them.  In my dreams, I have a Flor rug and vacuum it with a Dyson DC28 Animal Vacuum.  And no, it's not weird that I dream about rugs.

• Hypoallergenic Waterproof Mattress Protector ($39.95).  Unless you're one of the well-adjusted non-crazies who don't allow animals in their beds, if you have a puppy, just suck it up and get a waterproof mattress protector.  [We currently have a hypoallergenic mattress protector because Kyler has dog and cat hair allergies, but if we ever have another accident-prone puppy, which is ALL puppies, I will definitely get a waterproof cover.]  Yes, you can get the pee smell out of your bed with an enzymatic cleaner, but it's better to never get to that point -- just get a waterproof mattress cover.  I found this image on the Internet.  Cute, right?  Also, I'm so glad Betel is a "big dog" now and despite her size can hold her pee longer than any other dog I know.  No more "I'm sorry," although I don't believe she has ever been "sorry" about anything in her life. 

I think this concludes Part I - Furnishings & The Floor.

To preview the rest of the guide:
Part II - Bedding & Other Washables
Part III - The Air
Part IV - The Litter Box
Part V - The Beasts

* My most honest friend who also incidentally hates animals (yes, really) had this to say about my apartment: "I would never know you had pets from the look or smell of your apartment. The only give-aways are the cute water fountain and cute plush animals toys and things like that." - Sabrina

** The $188.05 cost in the post title is everything but the vacuum and Flor tiles, although it decreases to $119.93 if I go back in time and never buy the stupid dust buster. Turns out it's not cheap to smell this good.

$271.99 [Betelgeuse's Holiday Wish List]

Next up:  Betelgeuse's Wish List.

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Dear Santa,

I'm not a complicated dog, but I like what I like, and you know what I like because I growled it in your ear while I sat on your lap.

Clockwise from top left: 10" Aerobie Superdisc, discussed here ($10) | American Kennel Club Hedgehog Dog Toy w. Squeaker, AKC toys discussed here ($5) | Chuckit! The Whistler, Small, 2" diameter, 2-pack, discussed here ($7) | Wagwear Boat Canvas Carrier, Large, because I like being in a bag ($130).

[A note from the author:  Nothing new here.  I was surprised to see that a replacement inflatable playball did not make the wish list.]

Clockwise from top left:  Block of stinky cheese ($10) | Doggles, assorted colors, size SM ($20) | Dirty sock because the only thing better than you taking your sock off and throwing it on the floor is when you take your other sock off and throw it on the floor ($2) | Satin Baby Blanket with cotton filling, 33" x 33" to cover me in the car and protect me from the sun, covered bridges, trucks, etc. ($55)

[A note from the author.  Two themes emerge from these gifts:  (1) protection from the sun and (2) things that stink.

On the first:  Betel hates that big yellow ball in the sky.  Maybe it's because she spent the first four months of her life in a cage with artificial lighting or maybe it's because she has a big fur coat and gets hot easily.  But whatever the reason, she hates the sun.  When we ride in the car, she gets anxious and sometimes even sick unless and until we cover her with something that blocks out all light (for example, our coats or a dark scarf but not a light-colored t-shirt or towel).  Then she lays down and goes to sleep for the rest of the ride.  She's like a parrot.

If nothing else is available, she'll even try to hide under Lulu. 

It would be nice to have something that is not one of our articles of clothing (or our other dog) to keep in the car for these purposes.  The satin side of a baby blanket would be nice and cool for her, but I think something like the Sleepypod Cloudpuff blanket ($30) would work fine too.  Doggles are hilarious, but I'm not sure she would put up with them.

On the second:  Betel is just gross.  She likes eating her own eye goo and cat poop and hanging out with socks and her favorite treat is the stinkiest cheese in the world.  It's just who she is.] 

And, Mr. Kringle, last but not least:

A bag of 140 replacement squeakers ($32.99), my favorite.  Thanks in advance.  I will leave you some dog food.  Oh, and NO CLOTHES PLS THX THAT SUX.  Also please shrink our cat.

<3,
Betel

$284.75 [Lulu's Holiday Wish List]

I am starting the holiday gift guide series with Lulu's Wish List since it is her first Christmas with the clan.

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Dear Santa,

Please send the following items RUSH to Brooklyn.  We do not have a chimney, but we usually keep the back door unlocked (shhh), so just sneak in that way.

 

Clockwise from top left:  Alqo Wasi Alpaca Wool Llama Sweater, size SM ($54) | Merrick Water Buffalo Flossies, 6-8" ($4.49) | Basil PASJA, pet rear bike basket with steel frame cover ($100).

[A note from the author on the bike basket:  The steel frame cover is 100% necessary.  I already have a pet basket that attaches to my handlebars (the Solvit 62331 Tagalong Wicker Bicycle Basket), which Betelgeuse loves, but no matter how well I secure Lulu in the basket, she jumps or wiggles or ninja-style flips out while I'm riding and just hangs from the basket by her harness.  You have never experienced anything so terrible.  I will not even ride with them anymore.  So yes please, this basket.  And it's easier for me to ride with the weight on the back bike rack anyway.]

Clockwise from top left:  Thundershirt, Navy Blue Rugby, size XS ($40) | Nature's Miracle Quick Results Training Pads, 14-ct ($9.31) | Brinkmann Pet Home Decor Cuddler - 24" x 20", purple ($40) | Hammacher Schlemmer Dogbrella ($29.95).

[A note from the author:  Three of these gifts are related to the weather, or rather, Lulu's disdain for inclement weather -- the Thundershirt, which we discussed previously, to help Lulu overcome her top three shake-inducing fears: thunder, snow, and the subway.  Second, the training pads.  We have successfully housebroken Lulu and would never use wee-wee pads, but she HATES the rain.  Her only "accidents" now occur when it's raining outside, so training pads would definitely be on her wish list.  And finally, the Dogbrella for my prissy rain-hating pup, which is just so hilarious.]

Feel free to also throw in some dog or human treats -- whatever, really, although I'm quite fond of the Wagatha's Organic Dog Biscuits in Coconut Grove with Tart Cherry ($7).  And if you hook me up, I might even stop barking at you.  No promises, though.

Respectfully Yours,
Lulu

$34.00 [Pillow Ten Ways]

Kyler and I like to watch cooking shows together.  They combine his love of the culinary arts and my love of reality television.  On these shows, the chefs will often serve something like "Pork Three Ways" or "Duck Two Ways" -- I'm thinking right now specifically of Tre Wilcox from Top Chef, who seemingly in every challenge would serve the protein two or three ways.  And it always made me laugh.

So in honor of Mr. Wilcox and every chef who cannot commit to one preparation of a protein, on this installation of (over)budget pet, I bring you Pintuck Pillow* Ten Ways.

The pillow:

The featured dishes:

Glazed Icarus with a Side of Steamed Pintuck Pillow

$47.25 [SmartCat Multi-Level Cat Climber]

The SmartCat Multi-Level Cat Climber, a gift from Santa to Lola for Christmas 2010. 

Lola is the alpha animal of the clan.  She rules the roost.  And her second favorite pastime -- her first being eating all the food -- is sitting on a cat tree or cat condo, sharpening her razor claws and surveying her vast empire.

If you have a multiple animal household, giving the cat(s) a means to demonstrate the hierarchy will enable everyone to live in relative peace.  A cat tree allows for this:  the dominant cat will always be on top, and the dogs can't climb it.  And it's also a great way for indoor cats to get exercise and to get their scratchin' on someplace other than your furniture or rugs.  This amazing "customer photo" from Amazon obviously taken by a crazy person features 5 of the customer's 17 cats in a clear hierarchy: