$0.02 [2011, A Year in Animals, Part II]

Happy 2012, buddies!  This 2011 Year in Review post continues where we left off with Part I.  This post features photos and stories from July 2011 - December 2011!

July 2011

• The clan moved to our current apartment across McGuinness Boulevard in Greenpoint, Brooklyn -- Lola, Betelgeuse, and Lulu loved it right away.
• We did a hot, sticky Independence Day hike at Stokes State Forest [post here].
• Betelgeuse and Lulu got hilarious haircuts [post here].
• We went on a Pennsylvania day trip with dog buddy Kira (who looks like Lulu in the grass above) to hang with Abby and Roxy.

$0.02 [2011, A Year in Animals, Part I]

Happy New Year, Everyone!  

2011 was a big, expensive year in animals around here, so I thought I would share some photos and stories from the past year to welcome us into 2012.

January 2011

• We started 2011 with an animal clan count of three:  Lola, Kitty, and Betelgeuse.  
• Box Cat, the TNR feral cat who liked to hang out in our backyard, used the cat shelter that Kyler and I built out of a discarded kitchen cabinet to weather the cold January months.
• We met and fostered rescue pup Victor, a wonderful 20-lb. black dog (he looked like Kira's older brother), for two weeks until he went to his forever home in early January.
• Kyler, Betelgeuse, and I took a trip to Virginia Beach to visit Future Cat (+ his feline housemates, Caddie Wompus, Bear, and Boy Cat).  Betelgeuse got an unwelcome bath at Two Brothers Self Service Dog Wash.
• In late January, we started fostering postpartum Lulu, an 8-lb. black dog (she looked like Kira's little sister), pending her scheduled spay operation.
• We had so much snow in January. Three-legged Kitty helped me build a snow fort, and Betelgeuse played fetch on top of it.

$337 [Your House Stinks, Part IV]

This post continues where we left off after Part I [Furnishings & The Floor], II [Bedding & Other Washables] & III [The Air].  If you do not live with a cat, I'm a little sad for you because cats make great housemates, but you can skip this part and go play on Facebook instead.

The Definitive (Over)Budget Pet Guide to De-Stinking Your House and Home

Part IV - The Litter Box

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the grand source of stink: The Litter Box.  The litter box gets the high stink award for two reasons.  First, and most obvious, it's an open air cat toilet in your home.  Even if you are the most diligent of scoopers, there are going to be times when the cat blows up the box and thus blows up your spot.  Second, if you don't get the litter box "right" from your feline companion's perspective, she may start down the slippery slope of “inappropriate elimination" -- that is, urinating and defecating outside of the litter box.  At that point, your home will reach the true pinnacle of stink [unless you fight back with some of the tips from Parts I and II of the Guide, but best to just avoid it and make the litter box acceptable to your cat].

A personal caveat:  Lola doesn't actually use the litter box anymore.  She does her business outside with the dogs, so we spend little to no money or effort on the litter box anymore.  But I am an expert [self-professed, but, whatever, that counts] in litter boxes, and your holiday guests are on the way to your stinky house, so let's get into it anyway.

• Just Scoop It.  The best way to control litter box stink and encourage your cat to use the litter box (rather than your couch, floor, etc.) is to SCOOP COMPLETELY, AND SCOOP FREQUENTLY.  I say "completely" because some people immediately scoop the offensive nose-assaulting poop and leave the pee clumps behind for tomorrow.  Bad idea.  The individual pee clumps can become one giant pee brick, which is difficult to scoop, and -- duh -- it smells like cat pee.  Also, your cat wants the box to be clean, or she'll just find somewhere else to go.  I recommend scooping the box at least twice a day or more frequently.  Your nose and cat will thank you.

• The Covered Litter Box.  If your cat is amenable to this sort of thing, you can use a covered litter box, which does a lot to reduce odors in the home.  I used the Booda Clean Step Litter Box ($32) with accompanying liners ($4.50 for 8 liners) for Lola and Kitty when we lived in Baltimore.  The igloo shape of the Booda Clean Step is adorable, and it has stairs, which catch litter from your cats' paws as they exit the box.  I had to ditch it when I moved to Brooklyn because (1) sometimes Kitty's pee leaked through the seam in the box because she peed standing up, and (2) there was nowhere to put it in my narrow railroad apartment because the Booda Clean Step is a big round monster. 
  Note:  Bigger is better when it comes to litter boxes -- cats are clean animals and don't want to step in (or even see or smell) their own wastes.  This is particularly true if you've got a big breed or a fat cat.  If you are in the market for a covered box, I would go with the Kattails Kat Kave Litter Box ($79) because it's HUGE, there are no seams, and it will last.

• The Top Entry Litter Box.  When I moved to Brooklyn, I replaced the abandoned Booda Clean Step with the Clevercat Top-Entry Litter Box ($35).  My goals were three-fold:  (1) to reduce the amount of litter scattered and tracked by the cats, (2) to reduce pee escaping through litter box seams, and (3) to keep cat turds out of reach of my small poop-eating puppy.  Also the Clevercat had a lower profile than the Booda Clean Step and would actually fit in my apartment.  Unfortunately, Lola did not like peeing in this cave, and Kitty had a hard time entering and exiting through the little hole in the top, particularly after her leg was amputated.  We did okay with the top off, though, which just made it an uncovered over-sized litter box (see below). 
  Note:  If your cat will accept a top-entry box, and you're a baller, get the ModKat Litter Box ($180).

• The Uncovered Litter Box.  Turns out, the litter box has to be UNcovered for Lola to use it reliably.  Yes, it's kind of gross for your guests to see the litter, but the cat prefers it.  Lola, like many cats, feels trapped in the cave-like setting of the covered or top-entry box, and the lack of ventilation makes it really stinky in there.  But on the bright side, having it uncovered makes it easier to clean, and you are more likely to actually clean it when you actually see (and smell) something in the box.  We currently use an un-hooded Petmate X-Large Deluxe Hooded Litter Box ($30).  If Lola actually used the box instead of going outside, I would probably get a bigger one.  And by bigger, I mean, a plastic storage bin, which is all an uncovered litter box is anyway, or maybe the Petmate Giant Litter Pan ($24).
  Note:  This is our primary set-up pictured.  An uncovered litter box with unscented clay clumping litter [discussed below].  To the right, a Bad Air Sponge [discussed in Part III] and a tissue box full of plastic bags for convenient scooping and waste disposal.  Hanging from hooks are the scooper and mini dustpan-broom.  This is located under our bathroom counter.  We also have a top-entry litter box in the living room that Lola also doesn't use [not pictured].  We keep both litter boxes around even though Lola goes outside because we can't afford to take any chances.
  Another note:  Avoid self-cleaning litter boxes or litter boxes with mechanical parts because they are probably just going to break.  Everything is made like crap these days.  And even if they don't break, there are just more things, parts, and pieces to clean and disinfect.  Also, they can be noisy and scare your cat away from its toilet.  If you still want one, do your homework before you buy -- they're expensive, especially when you factor in replacement everythings (e.g., special litter, filters, parts, etc.).

• Clay-based, unscented, clumpable litter.  I have tried a lot of different litters in my day, but Lola says no, I'm a Tidy Cat.  So we use Purina Tidy Cats Scoop for Multiple Cats clumpable litter in Instant Action or 24/7 Performance or certain of the Premium Scoop Varieties, 27 lbs. recyclable plastic pail ($21).  It's sort of a shame because all of the technological and ecological advancements in modern litter are lost on us.  But there is no compromising on our litter, or my couch and rugs will be compromised.  How much litter?  The right depth in our boxes is approximately 3-4".  This enables you to scoop out the clumps easily without them sticking to the bottom of the box.  Unscented litter is preferable to those yucky, perfume-y scented litters -- I don't even want to know what chemicals they soak the litter in to make it smell like that.
  Notes:  The downsides of clay-based litters are that they're dusty, bad for the environment, and the litter ends up getting tracked all over your home.  [If you live with a cat, remember to wipe your feet before you get in bed and hope your cat does the same.]  You can try a litter mat, but I've never had much luck with them.  They don't catch all the litter, and then they're just one more thing to buy and clean.  If "inappropriate elimination" is an issue, we had luck with Cat Attract Litter Additive ($16) as part of our Operation: Save the Couch.

• The Scooper.  Get a heavy duty litter scooper made of plastic or metal.  I previously owned the Clean Go Pet Stainless Steel Slotted Litter Scoop ($9.50) because I'm sometimes convinced that plastic = microbial paradise, but I think it was trashed in our last move.  [I sort of hope it was trashed and is not just packed up in a box somewhere. Gross.]  I replaced it with the Petmate Ultimate Litter Scoop ($9).  I like the long handle and that it has a hole so I can hang it from a hook.  Don't put your scooper on the floor -- hang it from a nail or hook instead or get one that comes with a holder, like the Petmate Scoop 'N Hide ($10) or this cute cat-shaped New Age Scoopy the Cat Litter Scoop Holder, which looks like a sculpture ($13).
  Scooping Notes:  Try not to break up clumps -- the small pieces left behind are difficult to remove completely, and you'll have to change your litter more often.  Also, no scraping -- if you use your scooper to scrape pee clumps or poop, your scooper will be GROSS.  To prevent pee clumps from sticking to the bottom of the box, keep your litter sufficiently deep.  To loosen anything stuck to the sides, tip the box back and forth and either tap the box on the ground or gently hit it with your fist from the outside.  Then you can scoop sans scraping!  [I genuinely don't care if you think I'm crazy.]  If there's some sort of nastiness that is clinging to the box, just use a paper towel and your regular surface cleaner to wipe it off.  Scraping will just transfer the nastiness to your scooper.
  An Unnecessary Aside:  I just learned that there is a retractable scooper on the market that allows you to stand and scoop.  The package boasts "Never Bend."  I don't see how you can effectively clean the litter box while standing up -- will you even have the control you need over the business end of the scooper?  I just imagine flipping pee bricks around like pancakes if you pull up with too much force.

• No additives, no preservatives.  I don't use deodorizing powders or sprays on the litter.  They're expensive and only mask odors (and do a poor job of it anyway).  If you scoop your litter box(es) completely and frequently, the litter stays cleaner and you can replace it less often.  Seriously, there are a million products on the market that promise to deodorize, neutralize, freshen, or actually "destroy" odors, but don't just spray your litter, scoop it.  And if the litter is past its prime, change it.

• Scoop the poop ASAP.  If one of your cats HELLO blows up the box (which he is going to do right when your guests arrive), scoop it immediately.  I keep bags right by the litter box so there is never an excuse not to scoop the poop.  Also, dogs ♥ cat poop, so if we didn't scoop it right away, then the dogs would eat it before we ever could.  Eating cat poop isn't per se bad for Lassie, but the clumping clay litter is extremely dangerous to your pooch's insides.  We end where we began:  Just Scoop It.

We addressed ambient litter box odors back in Part III, so now you have all the tools you need to combat cat stink before your holiday guests arrive.

There is one more part to come in the next day or so -- Part V: The Beasts. And then I can go back to writing about cute stuff like dog leashes.

$183.59 [Lola's Holiday Wish List]

It is our ninth Christmas together, I can't believe it.  Yes, it's time for Lola's Wish List!

*          *          *

Dear Santa,

I like you.  We're both on the big side and look good in red.  Give me some or all of my wish list, and I'll probably like you even more.

Clockwise from top left:  Sojos Premium Organic Catnip ($3.99) | Armakat Classic Cat Tree, yes we already had this, and no, I was not consulted in the decision to donate it to a cat rescue organization ($132) | Set of Three Shrimp Catnip Cat Toys if the humans are going to keep being grossed out when I kill real mice ($5.39) | Weruva Best Feline Friend Cat Food in Tuna & Bonito Be Mine, 5.5 oz. can, 8-pack, seriously, no more diet food, Santa I know you're with me on this ($10.89).

Clockwise from top left:  Feliway Behavior Modifier Natural Spray, I mean do they want me to pee on the couch or don't they? ($17.82) | Modern Cat Holiday Lynks Felted Wool Cat Toys, set of 3 candy cane red and white ($8) | Pounce Crunchy Tartar Control Cat Treats in Tuna & Salmon Flavor ($3).

[Note from the author:  Lola does not pee in the apartment anymore, not at all, not even in the litter boxes, but she still really enjoys hanging out in places where I've sprayed Feliway.  On the Pounce Crunchy treats:  these are Lola's junk food.  She loves them.  She also really likes Whiskas Temptations treats for cats in Creamy Dairy or Savory Salmon flavor ($2.50).]

Oh, and Santa, please ship all above items in cardboard boxes, which are the best gift of all ($0).

Also, throw away the vacuum.

Sincerely yours,
Lola

P.S. I don't know if this was you or God, but thanks again for "taking care" of Kitty this past year because I really like being an only cat.

$16.47 [Chewed]

A few months ago, I learned about the book Chewed, which features 140 color photographs by Arne Svenson and "looks at the comically twisted results of our pets' desire to tear, shred, dismember, eviscerate -- to transform -- their favorite toys."  Excerpts from the book were shared to my delight on The Huffington Post.  See them here.

Like the dogs behind the photographed toys, Betelgeuse -- full of either love or hatred for them (we can't tell, maybe it's both) -- methodically destroys her plush toys.  She chews off any tags, removes the eyes and ears, dismembers the limbs, and, ideally, pulls out and eats the stuffing once the destruction is complete.  (I've already discussed her cloud-like all-stuffing BM before here.)  The end result is magnificent.

So, inspired by Chewed, I embarked on my own photography project while cleaning out the pups' toy box.  Unlike Chewed, however, I did not write stories from the perspectives of the toys -- you'll just have to buy the book for that.

It can be hard to appreciate how loved this rabbit has been without viewing the before photo. Despite Betelgeuse's infatuation with him over the last few years, he still squeaks and his stuffing is intact. What is left of his fur is super frizzy, but he somehow managed to keep his ears.

$72.99 [Transdermal Medication]

Since the rat poison debacle, Lola and Betelgeuse have been on Vitamin K₁ supplements twice a day.  The supplements are beef-flavored tabs, which went down easy on days 1 and 2, but every successive day we have to get more creative to make sure they go down the hatch.

Medicating pets is a pain -- I say medicating pets, but I mostly mean pilling cats.  For any of my readers who own cats, I am sure you've been spammed the "how to pill a cat" joke in the past.*  Pilling a cat sucks, and if you are currently having to do it, this post is for you:  It's about my former cat Kitty (R.I.P., Kitty), the sweetest cat,** and a treatment alternative to pills that you want to know about.

 (I love this photo of Kitty.  It features four of my favorite things: an animal with its eyes closed, a 1970s color palette, presents, and - duh - Kitty.)

$98.00 [Yarn Ball Urn]

Natural Burial Company Yarn Ball Urn. 

This beautiful urn will be Kitty's final resting place, selected by my brother, W, who spent several years with Kitty when we lived in Chicago.  It's perfect for her.  It's tasteful, the company is socially responsible, and I can put her little Kitty tags on it.  It's also 100% biodegradable so that I can bury her in an appropriate place years from now when it becomes awkward to still have my dead three-legged cat's ashes.

$98.00 with free U.S. shipping - although I hope you never need to buy this for your cat because he or she beats all odds and lives forever.

$20.99 [Tidy Cat]

Purina Tidy Cats Scoop for Multiple Cats clumpable litter (in Instant Action or 24/7 Performance or certain of the Premium Scoop Varieties), 27 lbs. recyclable plastic pail

Lola is very particular about her bathroom habits.  For awhile I wasn't sure she pooped or peed at all because she was so secretive about it that I never saw her do it.  She prefers a large, uncovered, open (but preferably not top-entry) litter box.  And it's got to be impeccably clean and filled with an ample amount of Purina Tidy Cats Scoop for Multiple Cats clumpable litter.

I did not know how committed Lola was to this litter, or how particular she really was about her bathroom habits, until the clan and I moved to our second floor Brooklyn apartment.

 

$47.25 [SmartCat Multi-Level Cat Climber]

The SmartCat Multi-Level Cat Climber, a gift from Santa to Lola for Christmas 2010. 

Lola is the alpha animal of the clan.  She rules the roost.  And her second favorite pastime -- her first being eating all the food -- is sitting on a cat tree or cat condo, sharpening her razor claws and surveying her vast empire.

If you have a multiple animal household, giving the cat(s) a means to demonstrate the hierarchy will enable everyone to live in relative peace.  A cat tree allows for this:  the dominant cat will always be on top, and the dogs can't climb it.  And it's also a great way for indoor cats to get exercise and to get their scratchin' on someplace other than your furniture or rugs.  This amazing "customer photo" from Amazon obviously taken by a crazy person features 5 of the customer's 17 cats in a clear hierarchy:

$0.02 [Sad Post]

A poem in rememberence of Kitty, who my dear friend Charlotte knew to give the nomen, The Duchess.

The Naming Of Cats by T. S. Eliot

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

*****

I dreamt she was in my bed last night.  My enthusiasm for this blog, which was supposed to be lighthearted and fun, has waned since Kitty's death.  I am picking up her ashes from the veterinarian this week.  I'd like to take the time to mourn her -- to properly write about her and get together some photos -- so that I can go back to writing sunnily about dog ice cube trays and cat stairs here.  My two cents for now is that I would give a million dollars just to hold her and kiss her boney little head again.

*****

$250.00 [Cremation]

Cremation - Individual 0-24 lbs., June 6, 2011

This is a difficult post to write, but Kitty passed away early Monday morning, June 6, 2011.  Cause of death unknown.  She died in my arms on the way to the emergency vet.  Kitty is, and will continue to be, missed.  She's in kitty heaven now, eating pizza and popcorn, and probably cuddling with my grandmother.  She was the best Kitty.  I'm going to miss her signature cuddles and those muppet feet.

$250.00 so that she will be cremated alone, instead of in a group, and so that her remains will be returned to me.  If you think this is over the top, please also know that I'm still considering having a funeral service at the Regency Forest Pet Funeral Home.  These are hard times.

$35.00 [Tri-Core Pillow]

Tri-Core Pillow, Standard Size. I bought this pillow at the advice of my physical therapist for my pain in the neck.

About the product, from the vendor website: "The unique, trapezoid center gently cradles your head and supports the neck in its natural position."

About the product, from my real life: "The unique, trapezoid center gently cradles your cat in their favorite ball-like sleeping position."  In fact, there has not been a night in recent memory when I have not awoken with my head on the outer rim of the Tri-Core Pillow and Lola or Kitty curled up in the trapezoid center.  And fur balls further reveal that Kitty has been taking naps in the pillow when I'm at work.

I sort of love this, of course, but $35.00 was for a pillow, not a cat bed.

June 13, 2011 update:  Woke up to Lulu in the trapezoid center.  This is getting ridiculous.

$0.00 [Cardboard Box]

Free with any online purchase: A Cardboard Box, which just so happens to be one of Lola's favorite things in the whole world.

Jump in and out. Scratch the bottom. Sleep in it. Stalk Kitty from it. Scare Betelgeuse just by having it around. Pee in it when you're done.  

$0.00 for a happy cat, which is priceless.

$14.99 [Chicken Feet]

Only slightly more awkward than feeding your pet a dehydrated bull penis, I present to you Aunt Jeni's Chicken Feet, 20 of them in fact, and dehydrated to perfection. Even Kitty enjoys crunching on the toes.

Also enjoyed in the past: frozen chicken feet. It really is so funny to me (and sort of terrifying to my boyfriend) to find one of those thawing in the bed or next to your magic mouse.

I love feeding my pets gnarly animal parts -- we have not even discussed tendons, tracheas, or hooves yet, but we'll get there. I was vegetarian for 16 years until approximately one year ago. Because I now eat the animals' meat, I appreciate that my pets will eat their bones, feet, snouts, ears, tendons, organs, etc. -- all parts that might otherwise go to waste. And really, if I was truly grossed out by animal parts, I shouldn't be eating animals.

$14.99 for hours of chewing fun for dogs and cats, creeping out your friends, and, most importantly, "using the whole buffalo."

$64.55 [Fountain]

This stainless steel Drinkwell 360 Pet Fountain was a very generous birthday gift from my brother, straight off my wishlist. A replacement for my Drinkwell Original Pet Fountain, which does not get a link or my endorsement because it's a nasty loud eyesore that needs constant refilling. My stainless steel Drinkwell 360 Pet Fountain, however, gets a link, an endorsement, and a photo:

Oh yes, this fountain. It is shiny and beautiful, blending in perfectly amongst the stainless steel refrigerator and sink with which it shares the kitchen. It has five interchangeable spout rings depending on how many streams your animal companions prefer, and you can easily adjust the flow. (Lola prefers a steady stream to splash with her paws, and Kitty doesn't care. About anything.) The pump is virtually silent. It holds one gallon of water, which is perfect since I have four animals drinking from it. Strike that -- only three.

Which brings me to my only complaint about this fountain, which is really a complaint about my dog: Betelgeuse is terrified of the stainless steel Drinkwell 360 Pet Fountain. You should see her even try to walk by the thing -- it's pathetic -- so she drinks from a glass bowl sitting close, but not too close, to the majestic fountain. Should we do the math? $63.55 to have a small unsightly dish of water on the floor anyways? Nope, not okay. I will spend an additional dollar on the delicious hot dog that I'm going to put in the fountain; her love of hot dogs will conquer all her fears. Either that, or my brother and I have together spent $64.55 to watch a soggy weiner float in a beautiful pet fountain.

Update:  Betelgeuse now drinks from the fountain!  All is well in water world.

$267.99 [Hypothyrodism]

Vet appointment for Kitty, who has been exceedingly grumpy and peeing on the floor as of late. I scheduled the appointment for Kitty's 13th birthday on Friday the 13th because I was expecting bad news and wanted to blame the calendar and not myself. Turns out that Kitty's hyperthyrodism medicine resulted in a case of hypothyrodism. How very American of us: $195.00 to treat good ol' fashioned Western overmedication, plus $72.99 for the new transdermal medication in the correct dosage.

Let there be no question, though: Kitty is worth every penny. I'm just happy to have her around. But I hope that we can get her thyroid levels to stabilize so that she feels better, stops being so grumpy, and starts using the litter box again, which are all symptoms of hypothyrodism. Unfortunately, these are also symptoms of feline senility -- which would not be an entirely surprising development but I pray is not the case for our dear tripod of a Kitty.